At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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