A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
