im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
