She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
