My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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