East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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