So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
