Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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