I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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