What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
