I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
