we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
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You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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