It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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