You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
