have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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