i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I touched a dick in church today
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
