do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
