so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize