Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's Friday. Sex?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
