i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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