shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize