Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
