The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize