On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
