I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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