Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
