Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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