I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
