sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
