so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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