is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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