Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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