Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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