The maid of honor just puked.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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