Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
