The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
