Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize