I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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