I murdered the dance floor call the cops
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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