would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
