I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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