I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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