i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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