Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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