dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize