you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
