Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
