I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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