I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
