we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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