I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
