But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
