he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
