it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
