Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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