His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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