At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
