id be glad to
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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