Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
