just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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